Are you punishing yourself to prove a point?

punishing yourself to prove a point

I caught myself about to do this today. 

Long story short, I wanted to make someone feel bad for implying that I couldn't do something that I really wanted to do by not doing it. Does that...make sense?

Basically, I wanted to make a point, that I was hurt. And my grand plan was to prove it by hurting myself some more.

That's the thing about guilt trips. They rarely go anywhere unless we're in the car as well, driving.

I think we do this more often that we realise.

We perpetuate whatever it is we think is unreasonable or unkind or unfair so that we can prove it is unreasonable or unkind or unfair.

We work ourselves to the bone to prove we're being overworked. We bear it all ourselves to prove that we need help. We overstretch to prove that we need to be cut some slack. We deprive ourselves to prove that we deserve more. 

It's all rather silly. 

So, the next time you find yourself cutting off your nose to spite your face, remember, you don't need permission to feel the way you feel. You don't need to justify your personal boundaries. You don't need to prove you're worth whatever it is that you need. 

Just own it. Declare it. Kindly but firmly. Because nobody's responsible for your happiness but you.

C x